IVF

Get Happy.

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There could be a slew of reasons that might derail a day; the too-good-for-his-job guy/girl at the local coffee shop who was rude and got your order wrong to boot. Maybe you’re running late to an important meeting and a careless taxi driver just drenched you in toxic city sludge on your way to said meeting… 

Life isn’t perfect. We should allow ourselves the opportunity to mourn the big things and let go of the small things. We may not be able to control outcomes of situations but we can control how we react to them. In those moments we are presented with a choice and an opportunity.

There is something to be said about the power of optimism to combat stress and empower a positive mind-body connection crucial for any medical challenge including infertility. Poor mental stress may negatively affect fertility in ways that are not yet clinically understood. (I asked Dr. # 4 about the impact of stress and she said and I quote “we live in New York City, everyone is stressed and women get pregnant all of the time”. That statement literally crushed me at the time and now I think it is just plain ridiculous that I allowed her view to cloud mine.) Just because there isn’t enough clinical research to provide gold standard research on the affects of high cortisol levels doesn’t mean that we aren’t affected by stress. Stress is real and we have the power to either contribute to it through negative thoughts, thereby punishing ourselves, or through combating it through manifesting the positive.

There is only upside to practicing a positive outlook. A generally happy person enjoys a higher quality of life and it may also reduce disease so there’s that. Each morning is an opportunity for us to hit the reset button. While it applies to just about everything, focusing every waking moment on getting pregnant “or else you won’t have this, or that,” can create tunnel vision. (Cue that crazy spiral image from the Twilight Zone.) Being so attached to a fertility outcome may even make things worse for us mentally and emotionally should our reality not match our expectation. I’ve been there. We have a choice to be all consumed or practice counting our blessings for the things in our lives for which we are grateful right now.

So if you missed the memo on “National Happiness Day” today, remember that you’ve got another shot to get happy tomorrow. Before you go to bed tonight, reset. Close your eyes for a (whole!) minute and breathe deeply. First forgive yourself, maybe even forgive that self-absorbed barista, taxi cab driver, or your nosy colleague who keeps asking when you are going to have kids. Consider giving them the benefit of the doubt, as they are likely just unaware. Take three more minutes. Just three more! Write down three things that you are grateful for, and three moments that you are looking forward to in the new day. (Writing my thoughts and tasks in a pretty notebook gives me an insane amount of satisfaction for some reason. Maybe it will for you?) The moments that will make you smile as you think about the future may be as simple as hugging your dog, or seeing the sun/sky in the morning. On the back of the paper, dump anything else that you need to park outside of your head like calling your mom, the doctor, any work related items, and, and, and… Bonus points if you write down one self-care item (massage, manicure, etc.) that you plan to schedule for yourself, just because.. Then leave your phone in another room and affirm to yourself that you have set yourself up to get a good night’s sleep to reset and restore for the coming day ahead. Believe it when you say it.

Tomorrow, right when you wake up, read that list of six things at home and not on the run, saving the other side of the to-do’s for the office. Honor your brilliant mind and body by telling yourself how grateful you are, drink a whole glass of water and mentally prepare yourself for the day with a smile. And give yourself permission without judgement to fake that smile until it becomes real.

Wishing all of us endless National Happiness Days…

xx


Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash

The Girlfriends' Guide to IVF: Part 1

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I was chatting with a girlfriend going through IVF and realized that it might be helpful to share my experience in hopes that it could help others navigate the process as well. 

During my third round last year, I made the discovery that by changing my attitude towards IVF, it wasn't as mentally and emotionally daunting as it had previously been.  Was piercing myself with needles (or letting my husband do it for me) a party?  Well no, not quite. There are however a lot of uncontrollables during IVF, so feeling emotionally stable and maintaining a positive attitude was an absolute victory.  I learned to accept the process, perhaps even embrace it rather than resent it.  I let go of being attached to the outcome, and THAT helped me make peace with IVF.

I am in no way diminishing the emotional and physical hardships associated with IVF.  I don't wish the experience on anyone.  I just made a decision to look at the process differently than I had been and set other goals (like getting mind/body healthy,) so that I could win no matter the outcome.  Perhaps three (rounds of IVF) was a charm, but I am convinced that my efforts to take care of my overall health paid off.  It still took a lot of effort on my part, and I couldn't have done it without a community and support system.  My doctor, nurse, and husband were the best team that I could have dreamed of, and the support group from CCRM provided ongoing inspiration.  

I learned to not underestimate the importance of the right doctor.  Just because a doctor did wonders for your friend does not mean that he or she is the right fit for you.  If this sounds like the position that you are in, look for a doctor with good credentials, that you vibe with, and who is attached to excellent labs.  Also make sure that you really like your nurse.  Your nurse will be your lifeline.

Only you can control how you feel.  I found my peace through prioritizing my needs.  You will likely need the support of friends, family and possibly a like-minded community during this time, but you will also need to give back to yourself.  This was a rather awkward and difficult new habit for me to embrace but it became yet another silver lining on the journey.

And one more thing... No matter what anyone else tells you, including me, nothing can really mentally prepare you for the IVF process.  It is not for the faint of heart and you are a rockstar to travel this path.  Remember that you are not alone and you do not have to suffer in silence.  

I've put together a cheat sheet of the main points that I believe helped me optimize my outcome and feel decent during the process.  My hope is that these insights will help support your journey and make the ride a little less turbulent.  Read on to Part II to get started.

The Girlfriends' Guide to IVF: Part 2

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Phase One/The Prep for Retrieval:

Similar to a recipe, here is the plan that I followed prior to egg retrieval and leading up to transfer.  This may also be helpful for anyone  just be doing the egg freezing process.

Try to take 90 - 120 days to reset your overall health and mindset to optimize egg quality and ultimately set the stage for a productive IVF cycle.  And go with your gut.  Start on your schedule.  Some doctors will try to rush you by telling you that your eggs will be 2 - 3 months older if you wait.  While true, if that is the case, I find it interesting that my results got better after hitting the pause button for 8 months.

1. Eat clean whenever possible

Focus on a mostly plant-based protein diet with an equal quotient of healthy carbs and fats.  (Translation for carbs/fats: fruits, veggies, nuts, and oils.) 

Pass on dairy, refined sugars, and refined grains (gluten in general whenever possible.)  Also beware of gluten replacement foods and especially any gluten-free foods that come in a box or bag as they might be laden with refined sugars and possibly chemicals.  These items all have an inflammatory effect on the body which doesn't help the optimal egg health cause.

2. Take supplements 

This is in addition to eating whole foods and shouldn't be the replacement for them. Check out my recommendations here. If you already know that you are challenged with egg quality issues, consider adding an organic Acai supplement.  (Avoid any Acai that is not pure or products like Sambazon that have a high sugar content.)

3. Drink water and lots of it

Ideally 8 glasses a day as a benchmark and preferably from glass.  Avoid plastic when possible.  BPA which is found in plastic is a known endocrine disruptor.

4. Try your best to cut caffeine

You'll have to do so anyway to ensure proper labs/monitoring.  Consider replacing your coffee ritual with hot water and lemon which is alkalizing (inflammatory reducing).  Pair it with an awesome refrigerated Probiotic like Natren Healthy Trinity to promote digestion and combat bloat.  

4. Cut alcohol

I'm sorry!  This was extremely difficult for me too.  I promise that you can do anything you set your mind to for 90 - 120 days!

5. Be aware of what you put on & around your body  

Avoid products with sulfates, parabens, and phthalates (fragrance).  All of these items are known endocrine disruptors.  Check out EWG.org to give you a better gauge on how products rank or to demystify ingredients in products.

Go ahead, be a sophisticated hippie with some of these awesome products that I have tested. I am not affiliated with any of these brands, I do however believe in their ingredients.

  • Skin/Hair Products: S.W. Basics, Body Deli, Rika

  • Natural Deodorant (that works): Joyous Organics

  • Cleaning Products: Puracy, Meliora K

  • Glass Water Bottle: BKR

6. avoid receipts

I am aware that this sounds crazy and especially if you live in a city or travel for work.  The thin powder coating found on receipt paper contains an unusually high amount of endocrine disruptor, BPA.  Not sure what to think? Search the terms "bpa receipts" and look for a credible source to learn more.

7. sleep

Try for 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night if at all possible.  This time is imperative to repair and restore cells.

8.Get your head on straight

Take ten minutes every morning for yourself to set the tone for the day.

Check out the 5 Minute Journal to remind yourself of what you are grateful for and/or meditate with the Headspace App.

Exercise easily.  Think yoga, barre, micro-toning, hiking/walking. The reason why cardio isn't recommended is because it promotes a fight/flight response during exercise, inducing unnecessary added stress on the body which isn't great for optimal cellular growth and creating the healthy maturation of eggs.  (The IVF process is already stressful enough, no?)

9. Consider Acupuncture

It blissed me out and has known benefits to increase blood flow.  In other words, it's good for egg heath and might also stimulate a thicker lining to promote transplantation when it comes time.

Phase Two/Stimming:

1. Keep on practicing self-care

This includes taking time for you, sleeping enough, staying hydrated and continuing healthy eating habits.

2. Discontinue most supplements

Continue with a daily Probiotic, Pre-Natal and Vitamin D (if you are deficient).

3. Stop any exercise outside of walking

The key is to not get your heart rate up.  If you are out of breath, chances are that you should ease up.

4. join a support group

Check out Pregnantish.  There are also plenty of private support groups on Facebook.  Many clinics also have groups available so make sure to enquire.  It's so nice to know that you can ask a burning question at 3a to a group of people that are going through the same things that you are, right now.  

Phase Three/Retrieval:

1. Try your best NOT to be attached to the outcome

I know that this is easier said than done.  Think of the many ways you have already won with a healthy mind and spirit, no matter what happens.

2. Get a post-retrieval care package ready

A heating pad, Tylenol, coconut water (I love Taste Nirvana and Harmless Harvest), Ultima electrolyte mix, and a bag of salty Kettle Chips will do wonders.  I am aware that the chips sound a little crazy but the high levels of sodium just following retrieval actually help drain the fluid that builds up in the empty egg sacs which can cause uncomfortable bloat.

3. Go native on the day of your retrieval

You and your partner should avoid wearing perfume, deodorant, and anything with fragrance in it.  Why you ask?  Because the fragrance could potentially damage eggs retrieved making them abnormal. 

Phase 4/The In-Between:

Between the time of retrieval and transfer is not the time to go cold turkey on all of the incredible healthy habits that you have been practicing.  Keeping a healthy lifestyle between retrieval and transfer will reward you with a better state of mind, more energy, faster recovery, and possibly better odds of conceiving during transfer.

Phase 5/The Road to Transfer (Egg Implantation):

Congratulations on making it to the transfer stage.  You should feel really good as this is not a given.  Many of the positive habits that you have picked up or already practiced along the way will continue to serve you.

1. Continue to eat, sleep, and hydrate well

2. TAKE supplements

Specifically continue a Probiotic, Pre Natal, and Vitamin D if you need.  Add back in Omega 3s.

3. Keep taking time for yourself

If you like acupuncture, try going once a week to help promote lining growth.  Only go if it doesn't stress you out to manage it into your schedule and get there in the first place.

4. Cut out alcohol and caffeine again

Much to my dismay I was reminded that chocolate has caffeine too.  Just remember that this is not forever.

5. maintain a positive outlook

Be excited but unattached to the outcome. It is a blessing to have gotten this far.  The universe doesn't promise or owe anything; all we can control is our attitude and embrace the silver linings that we encounter along the way.

Phase 6/Time for Transfer:

1. pre/post transfer acupuncture

Many fertility outpatient facilities offer this.  If this interests you, consider it for its calming, blood flow stimulating benefits that helps the eggs get cozy in the uterus.

2. Get yourself in a good headspace 

Consider taking a restorative style yoga or meditation class the night before the transfer.

3. Wear comfortable clothes and "happy" socks

You will be looking at them for a while.

4. go fragrance free

This applies to you and your partner and will minimize any damaging exposure to your hard-earned blastocyst(s).  (A blastocyst is a Day 5 - 7 fertilized embryo.)

Phase 7/Post Transfer:

1. Plan for bedrest for that day and the following

Avoid a heating pad.

2. Eat warm, nourishing foods

This includes organic bone broth to promote a comfortable zone for the embryo to implant.  Wild salmon, dark leafy greens, ginger, and fermented vegetable are also thought to be helpful.

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. 

3. Eat fresh pineapple core and raw Brazil nuts

Beginning the day of transfer and continue for a few days... 

Pineapple contains an enzyme bromelain, known for it’s powerful anti-inflammatory properties.  Reducing inflammation in the uterus helps set the stage for implantation by potentially creating a sticky lining where the embryo can settle in comfortably.

Eat 6 - 8 Brazil nuts a day.  Chockfull of selenium, Brazil nuts are thought to help thicken the uterine wall promoting a healthy lining to aid with implantation.

4. Meditate and visualize your embryos getting cozy

What is the downside?

5. Binge on funny movies or shows

In case you are looking for suggestions, I liked Up Schitt's Creek and Master of None on Netflix.

6. Rest and sleep a lot

7. The 10 day wait...

This will feel like the longest week and a half of your life (so far!) to find out what your results are from the blood test.  Try to be stoic.  Unfortunately OTC pregnancy tests can potentially provide a false negative or positive.

8. Be excited but not attached to the outcome

I know that I keep saying this.  This is a friendly reminder that whatever happens doesn't define you one way or the other.  You are also not alone in this journey.

Sending positive vibes your way! xo

 

Baby Makes Three...

I am grateful to my rock of a husband; friends and family for cheering us on; Elaine, an enormously talented healer who helped me understand my path; the designer who fortuitously sat next to me at a brunch last summer and introduced me to "the" doctor;  Claudia for helping me awaken to the concept that all of this was happening for me; Keri who taught me to look at food as fuel and medicine; Daryl for reminding me that (acupuncture) needles can actually be wonderful; and to Dr. Schoolcraft, Melanie and all of the amazing people at CCRM that I have had the great pleasure of meeting along this very long road.

Sound like an awards ceremony?  I sort of feel like I just won the greatest award in the world.  I have won the gift of pregnancy and I couldn't have done this on my own without the expertise, support, and love of so many incredible people.  I now know that every single person that I felt that tinge of energy around was meant to be in my life for a reason, whether for a season, or a lifetime.  For the first time, maybe ever, I feel like I am in alignment and exactly where I am meant to be.  

I have tried so many times to write this entry down over the last couple of months, and every time, I find an excuse to put it off.  First I had to wait until after three months to be sure, then I had to get my energy back, take care of my full time job, wait until the time felt right to share the news, and the list goes on and on...  Despite my very positive outcome, I have felt so many emotions through this process that coming back to center and sharing the news of my pregnancy has actually been more difficult than I could have imagined.

About 6 weeks after starting this blog, I got pregnant.  It’s mildly amusing that I had to expose my “dirty little secret,” and then I conceived so quickly.  The most interesting finding is that by sharing my secret, it was no longer dirty.  In fact, I found out that I was far from alone.  The path to finding fertility can mentally and physically suck the life out of you if you let it.  I am fortunate to have discovered solace and community from several groups consisting of thousands of women who struggle with their fertility.  These women bestowed upon me the invaluable gift of perspective.  And for those still on the journey, I will continue to root for you every single day.

I also thought that getting pregnant would be my end goal.  In hindsight, it is now clear that chapter was a stepping stone to the next leg of this incredible journey.  The lessons that I have learned, and continue to learn, about mental and physical wellness weren’t only the key to helping me conceive, they have become a way of life.

So as I sit here writing this at 6.5 months (26 weeks) pregnant with my little babe kicking inside of me, I am overcome with appreciation for this journey.  Being open to the possibilities, unattached to the outcome and surrounded by an amazing network is why I believe I am able to share this wonderful news with you.

A million thanks.  My cup literally runneth over in gratitude.

 

*A very special thanks to the talented Robert Grima for capturing me and my belly, as well as to Zimmerman for the beautiful dress.*